What’s a Mom to do?

I think I’ve decided that having children can be very painful.  And no, I’m not talking about the act of giving birth (though I readily acknowledge that is a painful experience).  I’m talking about the sorrow that accompanies letting them go.  I realize that there is much joy to be had as well, but right now I’m writing about the sad part, so let me have my moment.

Right now, at the very moment these words are being written, our eldest son Ronald Neal Childs III (aka: Trae) is in a jet plane (I assume it’s a jet) being taken from Niamey, Niger to Paris, France, with the final destination of Tulsa, OK, via Mpls, MN where he’ll spend a week visiting my family.   He’s probably still over the Sahara Desert.   How is possible that this cute little guy is already ready to travel alone, and internationally at that?  Was this picture seriously taken in 1991? (Trae, I don’t mean to insult you.  I realize you’ve been traveling alone for several years now…)

I know that this is the natural course of things.  I understand that.  It doesn’t’ mean I like it.  It doesn’t mean I don’t like it either.  For goodness sake he’s already finished a year of university – you think this would be easier.  In fact on the way back from the airport tonight we were talking about how great it was to have Trae around and how sad we felt to see him leave and Tobi asked me if it would get easier.  My answer at this moment?  No.

The thing is, when we said goodbye in January, we made a plan as to when we would see Trae again – Which was less than 6 months away.  So we began planning and counting days and anticipating his arrival.  And arrive he did – at 3:30pm on June 22nd.  Not his birth – his arrival in Niger!  Here we  are at the airport.  And we are happy campers!

Again I ask…how is it possible for nearly 5 weeks to already have gone by?  I’m beginning to believe the theories that time is speeding up.   Of course if I think about all that was accomplished and all that we did in those 5 weeks, well, it seems like it should have been more.

And how can I be sad when I think about all the ways that God has blessed the young man that Trae has become?  Why am I proud of him?  Let me count the ways.  He has made some pretty great choices and God has honored those choices.  He was in the top 10% of freshman academically at Oral Roberts University.  He has continued to develop his leadership gift and has been given several new opportunities this year to use it.  He found a lovely girl (and yes, Christi, I seriously did just describe you as lovely.  You are lovely from the inside out).  He listens to and heeds advice.  He loves his family.  He’s a great preacher.  He chose to spend his entire summer in ministry (which is actually one of the reasons he came to Niger after spending 6 weeks in Brazil & Paraguay).  He’s good looking.  He loves God with all his heart, soul, and mind.  Though I could go on, I’ll stop there in Trae’s honor, because it drives him crazy when I ramble…

So, how can I be sad?  Who wouldn’t be sad when the above described person was with you, and then had to leave?

Here we are at the airport tonight, trying not to be sad, and not being very successful at it…

My writing has become therapeutic and I am beginning to understand that my sadness is pretty much selfish.  It’s all about me.  Oh I’m sure that Trae is sad on some level to leave his family.  But how exciting to think about what lies ahead!  So truly, instead of feeling sad, I should be rejoicing with him for all that God has stored up for his future as he continues to seek Him and His righteousness first.

So, what’s a mom to do?    Rejoice because my firstborn has left the nest?  This I will do, in faith, one step at a time.   I will recognize that God has blessed me with not just 1, and not just 2, but with 3 incredible children.  And that is something to celebrate.  And I’ll  begin believing, in the words of Tobi,  ‘for this to get easier’.  Because I have two more birds that will fly.  And fly they will.  Here’s proof.

Update

I last left off at the Softball tournament in which Trae’s team took the championship, and Neal’s team 2nd place.  Where to go from there?   During the tournament, Trae had a birthday – his 17th.  Not really believing that.  But if I check his birth certificate, I can see it’s true.  We had a big group of his friends gather Saturday night at one of the newer restaurants in Niamey – you can actually get ice cream there.  So that ‘s what we all did.  Winning the tournament then was appropriate since it was his birthday.  Since Trae was in the motorcycle accident, we haven’t had the bike repaired – it’s a very long and painful story – insurance is refusing to pay a cent, even though it was clearly ruled the fault of the driver of the truck.  In the meantime, we all decided that it would be best if  Trae could drive a car instead of the bike.  So he persued getting a license.  Technically in Niger, you are not eligible for a license until you are 18. Trae was 16.  But he ‘looked the part’, so he started drivers training.  Those 2 words can be a bit deceptive.  ‘Drivers Training’.  I think it’s more like ‘Drivers Un-training’.  But I’m not going to dwell on that.  It was a long and very painful process, one in which we had to submit to the powers that be while trying not to spoil our testimony.  But victory was finally had and Trae recieved he license 2 days before he turned 17.

Grama & Grampa were heading for the US and will not be here for Christmas, so we celebrated our Christmas with them in September.  It was quite fun, as their gift to Trae was his very own car!  The idea is that he’ll use it for this year and then sell it and have some money for college.  Works for me!  It’s a 2-door Toyota and it reminds me of my first car – a Ford Fiesta.  My dad lovingly referred to my car as a ‘rollerskate on wheels’.  That it was.  Trae’s car is similar – only smaller.  But unlike a bike, it’s all enclosed and he can fit 4 people in there (sort of) besides himself.  It’s been a great blessing to us, as he is able to take the kids to and from school when we need him to do that.  And he has been willing to do so.  Fuel is amazingly expensive, so that’s been an education for him all by itself.  He’s a good driver and it seems that parents of most of his friends are ok with their kids being in the car with him.  That’s something we told him he always has to be sure about.

OK, what else…I guess since I’m on the subject of Trae, I’ll continue.  He has applied to and been accepted as a student at Oral Roberts University.  He has also been nominated for an invited to campus for the “1st Annual Whole Person Scholarship Competition”.  So he will be in Tulsa the last week of February.  It’s a huge investment, but it will be well worth it if he were to win one of the 25 full tuition – 4 year scholarships being awarded!  So, please begin praying with him for favor even now.  I’m somewhat in denial that I could be old enough to have a kid about ready to enter college, but again, unfortuantely neither of our birth certificates will lie.  Registration is August 14th.  If anyone has figured out how to slow time, please let me know.

In October we had a medical team come for their 2nd year in a row.  We traveled with them to Maradi for several days of medical outreach and ministry.  This was scheduled during our kids Fall break so they could be a part of the team.  Trae and Tanika interpreted for doctors and nurses, Trae helped wrestle cows for the vet, and Tobi worked in the ‘pharmacy’, counting meds.  We then were in Niamey for more village outreach, as we are now working on doing more in this region.

In November we had our 10th annual campmeeting – another trip to Maradi and though it was short, it was well worth it.  Our guest speakers were from the US and from Nigeria – ministering on our theme – Unity: One Vision, One Purpose.  We enjoyed ourselves – especially the part about our pastors taking care of most of the details.

This past week we had 3 visitors from Kensington Temple in London, England.  They were looking to come and ‘check out Niger’ and we offered to show them some of the things God is doing here.  We kept them pretty busy and according to them they accomplished even more than they hoped.  That’s what we like to hear!  We ended up with 2 bonus days with 2 of them though, because Air France would not allow them to fly – they were told the validity of their passports was questionable.  So it took 2 days of running around, again working on maintaining our testimony, but they were finally allowed to leave.  At one point Neal asked me to go to the Air France office because he was so frustrated and he didn’t want to ruin his testimony.  It was basically harrassment and when they arrived home they were told that Air France in Niger had been ‘unreasonable’. Ya think?

This next week we have a Nigerian pastor coming from Benin for both our Maradi and Niamey bible school graduations.  Then, the day after he leaves, my brother Brian, his wife Kim, and our nephew and neices, Jake, Kate and Ellie are coming to visit for 2 weeks!  We can hardly wait.  It’s their first trip to Africa and we are so thankful for the sacrifices they are making to come and be a part of our life here.  It’s going to be a great Christmas!

I really have so much more to say, but I need to stop for now.  And I’m sure you are ready for this novel to be finished for now as well.

I plan to write again soon.

I Can See Clearly Now

Our windscreen a.k.a. windshield was a mess. It got it’s first rock some years ago and that gouge has slowly grown into several cracks. In fact the original ‘injury’ looks like the source, and all the cracks look like rivers flowing out from it. Since then, we have run into a few more rocks, but that wasn’t the final straw. On our return trip from Maradi for children’s camp in June we went through what one could call some ‘rough spots’. There is road repair going on, so there were some suggested off-road detours. That means driving off into the bush. But it’s rainy season. So that really means driving through mud. And the mud is thick and deep so that means driving fast enough to get through. That means spinning tires. And that means flying mud. Everywhere. By the time we got through that mess we had to stop the car to create a square in the window with which to navigate. I was so desperate to see that I even sacrificed some of my drinking water to try and loosen the mud. Why, you say, did I not just use the wipers? I wasn’t born yesterday! They just smeared the mud around. We were only a couple of hours from home and eventually arrived. The white car was completely covered with red/brown mud. Completely. I mean you could no longer tell it was white.  We hosed down the car for immediate use, but the next day I asked our guard to give it a good scrubbing. The guard is a great guy, but only works for us part time. He speaks 2 or 3 languages and we speak 2, but none of those languages intersect. So…communication is done by sign language. I brought out some vinyl spray for the inside of the car. I very demonstrably explained where to use and where NOT to use this spray.  Picture me doing cleaning motions inside the car on the dashboard while pointing to the spray and nodding my head while saying ‘Yes’.  And then pointing to the glass, then the spray, and vigorously shaking my head while saying ‘No’.   Apparently I was not demonstrative enough. He worked very hard all the while smiling but in the end, the greasy vinyl spray ended up on the windscreen. If it adheres to vinyl/leather as it does to glass, sign me up for a case! We used window cleaner, vinegar, laundry detergent, dish soap, scrubbers etc. The film wasn’t going anywhere. It was far worse than the cracks. We have been talking for a long time about replacing the windscreen and this was the straw that did it. We replaced the windscreen.  I can actually see clearly when driving, particularly in the rain and at night. Oncoming headlights are no longer just a blurr. It almost gives the car a ‘new’ feeling. All thanks to a guard named Kashimu.

Something else I now understand. Driving in Niamey is quite an experience. It challenges many of the fruits of the spirit that I’m supposed to be demonstrating. Maybe I’ll write about that some time….Anyway, Trae is working on getting his drivers license and he’s taking ‘drivers training’, Niger style. That’s not supposed to be available until one is 18, but apparently at 16 he ‘looks the part’. He already has his motorcycle license – just had to take a written test for that. For a 4 wheel vehicle license he has to take a written test, drive with someone a couple times, and take a road test. He took the written test long ago. Passed that. He’s been driving with us for some time now – practicing. So he drove 2 times with 2 different instructors. The other day we were out driving and he told me that the driving ‘instructor’ had basically undone everything that Dad taught him about driving. You NEVER turn hand over hand when you’re turning but always keep your hands firmly on the wheel. And the cardinal sin seems to be when you don’t use your blinker properly and often.  But the thing that brought the greatest revelation was this. I have always been frustrated by the fact that people drive down the middle of the road. If there are 2 lanes going in one direction, they literally drive down the center line. I have jokingly commented that they must teach them that in driver school. It’s no joke! They told Trae that he needed to drive down the middle of the road! Noooooowww I understand! I can see clearly.

Team, Tennis, Trae

I have found myself alone, on a Sunday afternoon. I have decided to do some catch up writing – a hodge podge of things that I have wanted to get ‘down on paper’, so decided to take this quiet time to do it. Mostly because I’m thinking I won’t have a chance to write again until our Kansas team returns home. Even though I have finished with much of the preparation, I still have quite a few things to do before they arrive. That takes place this Wednesday at 3:35am. Most of my preparation revolves around food. Since we will be traveling to Maradi and staying in a place with a relatively small kitchen, I have done much of the food prep ahead of time. My freezer is full and I’m ready to go! Almost. It’s at times like this that I wish we at least had the option to run to Pizza Hut, Subway, or Taco Bell. Team Word of Life is made up of 11 team members. They, together with our family of 5, will make the now 10 hour road trip to Maradi on Thursday morning. We will be going in our 4WD vehicle, and Neal’s parent’s 4WD (they are so wonderful to loan it to us for this (and many other) trips). It doesn’t take a professional packer to realize that 16 people and all of their luggage will not be fitting into 2 vehicles. We have informed the team that 3 of their members, along with Trae and Tanika, will be taking public transportation to Maradi. They have informed me that they have 5 members ready to do so. Thanks guys!

Friday starts the annual bible school alumni meeting – they will be ministering in that both Friday and Saturday. Then, on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday evenings we will go into villages to do evangelism. We are bringing a generator (which Word of Life bought for us) and will have lights and music, complete with keyboard, bass and drums. We have great expectation for these meetings, and know God will move in a powerful way. The team has been preparing for a year! We will return to Niamey on Wednesday (and I’m assuming that 3 different team members will check out the public transport experience). Trae and Tanika are such troopers, having had to go on public transport for several trips recently. The team will minister in some of our churches here, before beginning their journey back home very early Friday morning. We’re excited for them to get here. They begin their journey to Africa at 3am tomorrow (Monday) morning.

The reason I’m alone right now is because Tanika is at her friend’s house, Neal and Trae are playing tennis with Grampa and a friend, and Tobi is watching them play tennis (and hoping he can get in on a few balls too). Although he really does enjoy watching tennis, both live and on TV, I think part of the reason he went with them is because he is afraid if he stays home with me, I’ll make him read! (which he is finally catching on to).

Speaking of tennis, last Sunday was the same setup. Neal and Trae met Grampa at the court. Not sure if I mentioned it or not, but the day after camp was over, Trae was able to remove his sling. A couple weeks after that, he started some physical activities. He’s not (supposed to be) doing anything weight bearing or contact yet, but he’ll get there. Anyway, they play tennis at the American Rec Center. It, understandably so, is situated right next to the American Embassy. The other side of the Amer. Rec. Center is the French Embassy. Since the tennis court is in the corner of the property, it shares a wall with the French Embassy. One of the above players (who will remain nameless as I’m not sure who it was) hit the ball into French Embassy property. Trae, either because he’s young and in shape, or because he was the one that hit the ball out, went to retrieve the ball. On a side note, one might wonder why it was so important to actually go and retrieve an already over-used tennis ball. That is simply because those balls are precious commodities around here, imported from America with whoever is willing to bring a can or two of tennis balls when they come. Back to my story. No one was at the French Embassy gate, presumably because it was Sunday. The friend they were playing with had also joined Trae. They assessed the situation (really?), and decided the best course of action was to go over the wall. What?!!? Jump over a cement wall, one belonging to France, protected on the top by iron spikes?!? This is the same boy who finished the year with a 4.0 GPA and will attend college in a year. He got over the wall – only using the weight of his ‘good’ arm. He retrieved the ball. While doing so he discovered that his hand was covered in blood. He took off his shirt and wrapped it around the bleeding hand – there was a deep gash on his left hand, straight down from his pinky on his palm. He got that from those pesky metal spikes, put there to keep trespassers OUT. I wasn’t in his head, but I’m thinking he knew he was not in a good place, and needed to get back over the wall. How would it look now for a young, shirtless guy with a bloody hand to walk (from inside) to the other side of the property where there were actual people, and ask if they could please open the gate and let him OUT! That’s what I think went on in his head as he attempted, and succeeded, in scaling the wall using the cut hand only, as he could not put weight on his ‘other’ bad arm.

We decided that though stitches could definitely be warranted, they weren’t really necessary in this situation. We simply poured betadine in the very deep wound, squeezed it together and taped it up. We still had plenty of supplies from his other, rather recent, injuries. What’s another 1 inch scar when added to the rather large one along his collar bone, and the few down his back? He’s a guy. Scars are cool. So I’m told.

As I sit reflecting on this, I almost wonder if this is the same kid that was afraid to get on a merry-go-round or ride his bike down a hill. The same guy that went to Disney world, was picked for a nickelodeon show and when realized that it was possible he’d get slimed said ‘no way’ and left. The guy that was at the top of a zip-line platform and was about to turn around and said to his Dad “You think I’m going to jump off this?”, and his Dad replied “Sure, let’s go”, while pushing him off the platform. Yep, this is the same guy. Only now he’s grown up, is maturing, and it has become clear to me that his confidence has been developing all along. I know he’s developing wisdom, and is becoming all God has created him to be. I am watching it happen before my very eyes.

Heat adjustment / School’s out

Our bags were packed and we were ready to go by Monday afternoon.  Caira took us to the airport on Tuesday morning.  That was a huge blessing – so we didn’t have to take the metro with all of our bags.  The fact that we checked only 4 bags when we could have checked 6 really went against my grain.  I’m trained to NEVER come back to Niger without all that I’m allowed to bring.  But I did manage to bring back some mozzarella and parmesan cheese, which was about 1/3 of the price we pay here.  Also brought back some cool pasta and gifts for everyone here.

Our flight went really well.  That is until the pretty strong turbulence towards the end that made me lose my cookies.  But it’s so nice to only have one flight – to almost the same time zone.  So there was no jet lag when we got here.  The only adjustment was the heat.  And what an adjustment!  In Paris, I was taking a very hot shower every night to warm up before getting into bed under 3 thick blankets.  In Niger, I take a shower (wish it was cold but the water comes out hot) to try and cool down before getting into bed.  I realized while in Paris that household chores weren’t really bothersome at all because it was so cool.  In fact I looked forward to doing dishes because I would be able to put my hands in hot water, and to folding laundry because of the warm dryer – while wearing a sweatshirt and flannel pants!  I helped Caira make 13 beds and never broke a sweat.  It was almost like a new experience for me.  All work, no sweat.  Cooking was also pleasant.  Never once felt like I was slaving over a hot stove…I enjoyed the heat of the gas fire.  In Niger I have to be careful in my 100+ degree kitchen not to let dripping sweat pour into my cooking.  Just being real!

We have an outdoor thermometer and though I know it’s not actually this hot outside, when the sun passed over it today it read 125.5.  It’s almost 5pm and it’s now 109 in the shade.  But what’s crazy is we have the AC on in our office and it’s still 95 in here.  But when we walk out of this room, we are hit with a blast of heat!  The rain is coming and temps should drop some.  Waiting (not so patiently) for that.

When it’s this hot, I have to remind myself that the vast majority of people in this nation are living without so much as a fan.  So I don’t need to whine.  But being cool (on a relative basis) is not without cost.  Our electric bill last month was almost unbelievable.  We run an AC in the office in the afternoon if we are desperate, and usually most evenings.  We also have AC’s in our bedrooms and use those at night.  Trae carries Tobi into his own room at night when he goes to bed so 1 less AC is used at night.  Other than that we have fluorescent lights, fans, a fridge, a small fridge and a freezer that run pretty regularly.  Our bill?  $850.  That’s not a typo – eight-hundred fifty.  That’s partly due to the weak dollar, and to the increased cost in electricity.  But, we have realized that our effectiveness here is increased when we know that we will get a good night sleep.  So in the big picture, it’s worth it.  That’s what I’m telling myself.

We arrived back on Tuesday at about 5pm.  Trae had a school banquet to attend at 7.  He made that and had a great time.  The next morning was the last day of school and the final assembly.  We all (Neal & I, Grama & Grampa), went to that.  Tobi preferred sitting with us (between Grama and Grampa to be exact), rather than with his class.  The Student Council gave out various awards and Tanika received one of 2 awards for being ‘most encouraging note writer’.  Sounds just like her!  The Video editing class presented the music video’s they had been working on all semester.  Trae wrote the words and music for his group’s song.  Before his accident, they had recorded the song (he played guitar and sang) and done some of the video.  But the rest of his group had to finish it without him.  It was a pretty cool video.  While it was playing Tobi asked if Tanika had a video.  I told him that she wasn’t in that class, that her class was art.  So he asked if they would be showing her art.  Pretty funny.  Speaking of her art though, she did some pretty amazing drawings this semester – including a really nice self-portrait.  She is the one with the creative bent.  We also have good reason to be proud of Trae and to brag about him a bit.  Sahel Academy belongs to ACSI – The Association of Christian Schools International.  The teachers nominate juniors and seniors for the Distinguished Christian High School Student Award.  Trae is a junior and was selected for outstanding achievement in:  Academics, Leadership, Athletics and Christian Service.  We’re proud of him and it will look great on his college application.

Wednesay night Trae went to the Student Council dinner.  Last night was Sahel Academy graduation.  There were 3 graduates and they came in on camels.  It was pretty cool.  Trae’s class is much bigger than that, and it made me realize that his graduation is going to come sooner than I’d like.  Tobi is with me.  On the way last night he told me that he wished Trae was only in 10th grade.  I asked him why and he said because then he’d stay here longer.  Point taken.  As you can see, the arm in a sling hasn’t slowed him down much.  He’s bummed about not being able to play sports though.

School is out for the summer and we have lots of great ministry stuff planned.  I’m so glad that kids are going to be involved with the things going on.  They don’t get a lot of opportunity for that during school because of their academics/activities.

It’s going to be great!

This is long – I’m trying to finish my story.

We have been in France for some time now and I haven’t even written about it yet.  But I have posted lots of pictures of our time here.  And from those, it certainly doesn’t look like we’re here for medical reasons!

I’m going to try and speed this up.  I’m getting to a good part.  Unbeknownst to me, Tanika went to bed Wednesday night after having a conversation with God – telling Him that she believed she would wake up the next morning without a headache, and that she would be able to see.  Because of her faith.  Thursday morning we woke up and said,  “Mom, I don’t have a headache”.  Now anyone who knows me knows I’m not a morning person.  But that woke me up.  So I handed her my Bible and asked her to read it.  She opened it and began reading.  Up close, without her glasses, just as she could before.  We thanked God and decided that we were ready to go home.  Today!  Not so fast.  Not much moves fast around here.  Dr. Isaac called sometime that morning and I told him what had happened.  He said, “See, I told you it was 60% prayer.”  “No,” I replied, “It was 100% prayer!”  I hope I didn’t offend him — him being a doctor and all.  But they really didn’t do anything.  It was all God.  He later picked us up to go and talk to the Ophthalmologist about the CT scan, and have a few other eye tests done.  Her vision was tested exactly as it had been before.  The doctor said that the CT scan was normal – everything where it needed to be and nothing that shouldn’t be there.  He said he did believe she had inflammation of her optic nerve that could have been caused either by a virus or by stress/strain.  Let me make it clear here that Tanika, along with the rest of us, are expecting the complete restoration of her sight.  So we don’t want to let up just because it’s back to what it was.  But we are thanking God for what He’s already done!

Things weren’t able to be pulled together quick enough that day to move us to a guest house, but we planned on that happening on Friday morning.  Thursday night we went again to our friends house, and also made plans for a pastor friend of ours who had just returned back from Nigeria to pick us up at the guest house on Friday and have lunch together.  Tanika and I had our tea and went to bed.

On the home front…Plans were being made to get Neal and Trae on Thursday night’s flight to Paris….

Here’s a funy side note—When it looked like Tanika and I would be going to Ghana, we realized both her and Trae’s passports were expiring a few days from then – while we’d be in Ghana.  We had new applications filled out and pictures ready, but hadn’t gotten ourselves altogether yet to get them to the American Embassy.  Neal talked to an embassy friend who put us in touch with someone who may be able to help us.  This was a Saturday.  He told us that it would be possible to get an emergency passport on Monday, but at this point it looked like a possibility that we’d leave Saturday night or Sunday.  He told me he really didn’t think it was possible to get the passport on the weekend, but he’d see what he could do.  That process started at about 3pm on Saturday.  By 7pm, Tanika had an emergency passport that looked every bit like a regular one.  We thanked the guy profusely and he just kept telling us that’s what he was here for.  Almost as if we were doing him a favor for letting him do this.  What a guy!  As it happened, we didn’t leave until Monday, so Neal and I decided to meet Trae at the Embassy during his school break that Monday morning so we could get his turned in before we forgot.  It was a quick procedure but I remember saying something to Trae how it’s a good we’re doing this, but it’s not as if he’s going to need his passport anytime soon.  That evening he was hit by a truck.  Wednesday or Thursday Neal realized that we don’t have a passport for Trae in possession.  Back to the embassy he went.  They were able to issue Trae’s emergency passport in a couple of hours.

At first, our insurance said there were no available flights to Paris.  Neal’s Dad was not to be deterred and he went direct to the Air France office and discovered that yes, there were available flights.  So he reserved them.  Back to the insurance to give them that info.  Things were finally set and it was confirmed that they would be flying commercially – economy – to Paris that night.  I wasn’t there for the preparation phase, but I know Neal and he is very good at packing.  In fact I’m sure he did better in a crunch than I would have.  They weren’t expecting to be gone long, so didn’t even check any bags.  Just brought 2 carry-ons.  Neal would be carrying both of those, due to obvious reasons.

Meanwhile, back in Accra…

Friday morning dawns and this is the 2nd day in a row we have our suitcases packed and ready to move to the guest house.  Tanika, however, was not feeling great.  She had a serious case of the trots.  “Tanika”, I told her, “You need to get over this quick!  Dr. Isaac is not going to let us go if you’re not well.  Snap out of it!”  We had been in the hospital too long and I was getting crazy.  She continued to make frequent trips to the bathroom.  She was also the color of the sheets on her bed.  And breakfast held no interest.  Dr. Isaac walked in and asked how we were doing.  “Good”, I said – glancing sideways at Tanika, willing her to pinch her  cheeks a bit and smile.  I finally decided I better mention this little issue to the good doctor.  His reaction was exactly as I expected.  “What?” he said.  “How many times this morning?”  “Seven”, was Tanika’s attempted cheerful reply.  It was here that I began to beg.  I thought about getting on my knees.  I explained that this was just a little bug – nothing.  And that the best things was for us to get to the guest house where we could rest.  After all, they had been bringing our breakfast for some unknown reason every morning between 5:30 and 6.  Who eats then?  And the cleaning of our rooms- that starts at 6am.  Just release us and she can rest.  He let me know what a medical fool he would look like if he discharged her and she had to come back.  He would not be responsible for that.  “I understand.  She’ll be fine.”  He reluctantly agreed and did the discharge.  He was the one driving us to the guest house so we walked down with our bags and waited at the door for him to bring the car up.  Tanika starts vomiting right there at the entrance to the hospital.  I hate to admit it but here’s what I said to her.  “Tanika, hurry up and finish, here comes his car!  We don’t want him to see you like this.”  Too late.  He gets out of his car and it is pretty obvious what is going on.  We still attempted to leave, but not before she had to rush to the lobby toilet twice, and visit 2 trash cans on the way.  Dr. Isaac is looking at me like I’m out of my mind, and I just grabbed a suitcase and headed back into the hospital.  We were so close!  They had already stripped our beds so we were readmitted to a different room.  At least we got a little change of scenery.  They re-inserted the IV, drew blood for tests, gave Tanika an injection to stop all her bodily fluids from forcefully escaping, and began rehydrating her.  I called Pastor Theo and let him know that we didn’t need to be picked up for lunch at the guest house.  But he and his wonderful wife came the hospital to visit, and even brought me some lunch.  Tanika mostly dozed the day away, and I went to Pastor Theo & Monica’s house to get some email done.  By that night, she was feeling much better and we had our dinner and tea together, did some reading and went to bed.

Whatever attacked Tanika that day, attacked me that night.  I didn’t sleep a wink.  I was too busy making trips to the ceramic throne.  I was very tempted to ask for something, after all I was in a hospital.  But the last thing I wanted to do was become a patient.  So I prayed and imagined us in that guest house.  Morning couldn’t come soon enough that day.  A different doctor walked in and asked Tanika how she was doing.  “Good” she said.  He then said that he would let Dr. Isaac know and he would begin making plans to discharge us.  We were surprised, but beyond thrilled.  This time it was Alex, the paramedic that transported us to the long awaited guest house.  Very nice place – a guest house of the ministry our friends have in Accra – Agape Gospel Mission.

Next step was to make arrangements to get back home.  This was also proving to be quite a challenge.  I’ve already explained what it would take to fly commercially from Africa to somewhere else in Africa.  We would have to fly from Ghana to Ivory Coast to Burkina Faso before reaching Niger.  It’s about 12 hours – if all goes well with the different flights.  And to have all of them do what they’re supposed to do is not a very high probability.  I had been telling all involved from day 1 about SIM AIR – a mission that could fly from Niamey to Accra to pick us up and take us home.  Dr. Isaac was all in favor of that, as he said he told our insurance company that there was no way he would approve for us to fly commercially the way it would need to be done.  He’s an African so he knows what that would mean.  I was sure thanking God for him!  But the final decision was not his to make.  Frugality won out.  In the end, SIM AIR actually ended up being cheaper than a commercial flight.  And it was a 3 hour direct flight.  That was settled, though they couldn’t come and get us until Tuesday.

Over to Paris…Neal and Trae had a good flight to Paris.  It’s only about 5 hours.  They ate on the plane, then slept, then woke up and they were there.  It was 6am Someone was there with one of those plaques with their name on it, and they were taken to the hospital for admission.  And x-ray was taken immediately.  The doctor later came and put a strap on Trae – saying that if it looked like the strap would hold things in place by the x-ray the next morning, surgery would not be necessary.  Sounded good.  The next morning’s x-ray came and it was found that no, the 3 part break was not going to stay in place to heal on its own.  Surgery would in fact be necessary and a metal plate would need to be inserted.  They would have, however, some days to enjoy Paris because the doctor said that due to Trae’s other accident injuries, he would not do surgery until he had been on an anti-biotic for 10 days.  That was still a week away.  And then recovery would be another 3 weeks after that.  In France.  That would bring them home on the Sunday after school was out.  This was a lot for us all to digest.  At this point Tanika and I had been in Ghana for 5 days, Grama and Grampa were with Tobi who seemed to handling everything really well, and Neal and Trae were in France, looking at a month stay.  That would take Trae to the end of the school year.  That was one of the biggest disappointments.  He, as the Student Council President, had been really involved in school all year.  So to have to miss all of the end of the year stuff, including saying goodbye to friends that he’d have no idea when he’d see again, was a major bummer.   We talked to the doctor and explained the above and he agreed that if all went well, he’d release him earlier.  Though I’m not to the end of the story, I can say here that all went well and Trae, Neal and I will be returning to Niger on Tuesday, June 3rd.  Tickets are confirmed.  He will be there for the Senior banquet, put on by the juniors.  That’s Tuesday night.  The student council dinner was supposed to be earlier but I reminded him that he, as president, had every right to change that.  So that will be Wednesday night.  Graduation is Thursday night so he will be able to see his friends.

Tanika and I had a couple of nice days in Accra.  We went to church with our friends on Mother’s day.  I was still struggling with digestive (or something) issues, but was able to make it through the service.  It was in English, and in an air conditioned place.  That was pretty great.  We enjoyed the mild weather, while everyone there was talking about how hot it was.  It’s all perspective!  I continued to keep in touch with everyone through phone, since it was so cheap in Accra.  I have a funny story of one of my attempts to get a phone card, but I’ll have to save that for another time.  I finally decided to take some Cipro for my ‘condition’, and it helped greatly.  We managed to get out of the hospital and were now completely focused on getting home.   Accra is a beautiful city, complete with beaches and shopping malls.  And as much as I love those things and don’t have anything remotely close to them in Niger, I had no desire to do anything like that.  We just wanted to get home.  It was kind of a strange feeling.

Given Trae’s situation, we decided that I would fly to Paris to be with them, and to bring Trae’s books so he could finish his school.  In light of that, I was really counting on leaving Ghana on Tuesday so I could be at home a couple of days and make Thursday night’s flight to Paris.  (There are only 3 flights/week to Paris) I really wanted to be there for the surgery on Saturday.  Really wanted to be there.   I received a phone call on Monday night and that because of the weather, the plane was not going to be able to take off from Niger on Tuesday.  I already had my bags packed again.   Tobi was ready for us to be home, and Grama and Grampa were ready for us to be home.  I was ready for us to be home.  That was a point that I felt really discouraged.  I called Neal to whine to him because now I didn’t know what to do.  This wouldn’t put me home until Wednesday earliest – and how would I manage to be ready to leave again on Thursday.  He assured me that everything would be ok, and that he and Trae were both fine without me there for the surgery.  I guess that was good…  This was one of those points that I really had to encourage myself.  I prayed and asked the Lord what I should do.  I wanted to be there for surgery, but I also wanted to spend some time with Tobi.  God mostly speaks to me through peace, and I felt that the most when I considered staying until Sunday night’s flight.  I would miss the surgery, but I would have 4 days with Tobi and everyone else.  So in the end, that’s what I did.  I was still frustrated that I couldn’t be there with Neal while surgery was going on, and it was nerve wracking waiting for him to call after it was over, but I felt right about the choice I had made.

Tobi really did seem to be doing fine.  I don’t know what we’d do if Grama and Grampa weren’t there for him – he’s just so comfortable with them, and I’m quite sure I will get called ‘Grama’ a lot when we first get home.  He asked a couple of times why I had to go, but that was only after prompting him to talk about how he was feeling about all of this.  When I told him it was ok to feel both happy and sad at the same time he said ‘really?’

Back in Accra, Wednesday morning came and with it our ride to the airport.  Kevin, the SIM pilot was on his way to Accra.  We made our way through the airport and waited for him.  It was great to see him walk in the door.  He explained that we would need to go through immigration, then we’d meet him outside at the plane.  I asked how we’d know the plane.  “It’s the smallest one out there.”  Alrighty then.  Followed his instructions, looked out and saw a tiny plane.  A very tiny plane.  I had never seen SIM’s plane before.  It almost looked like a toy from my vantage point.  I was thrilled with it.  We were going home.  And Kevin and SIM AIR had helped make it possible.  We walked out to the plane and Tanika got in first.  He said I could sit in the front if I wanted.  Of course I wanted – I could pretend to be the co-pilot!  Tanika got buckled in, then Kevin, then I followed him by climbing up the wing and into my seat.  I was suddenly thankful that I had taken the Cipro and my tummy was doing well at this point – this would not have been a very good position to have issues.  I could just imagine…”Ummm, excuse me.  Is there any way you could make an emergency landing?  I need to use the bush.  Now.”  The flight was 3 hours and 20 minutes and it was amazing to see the changes that took place as we flew out of the tropics and into the desert.  Pretty cool.  I had to laugh when I saw Niamey from the air.  Though it’s our capital city there wasn’t much there when compared with other cities we passed over.

We landed and drove right up to the hangar where Grama, Grampa and Tobi were waiting.  It was good to see them!  Tobi was pretty impressed with the plane we rode in.

Tanika went to school the next day and was amazed at how happy everyone was to see her back.  It had been awhile since she’d missed a week of school before we even went to Ghana.  She was so blessed by all the praying that had been done on her behalf.   The teachers were all so gracious in helping her get caught up with all she had missed.

Now I was ready to debrief in Niger, and plan for a trip to France.

God is good and we have the victory.

Another installment

Tanika wasn’t allowed any breakfast due to the upcoming CT scan, so I fasted with her. Unfortunately our ride didn’t come until 10:30. Traffic in Accra is atrocious but we were in an ambulance van and Alex, the paramedic that was on the plane with us, couldn’t resist using the siren to get though it. Tanika ended up having to lay down for the trip. We arrived at the specified location and were ready to get the test done with. What we were told is that they were sorry, but the machine broke down that morning. I must admit I felt like I was reaching my limit. This was, after all, the reason we came to Ghana. Specifically for this test. And we just wanted to go home. But again, I reminded myself that God is good and He was going to work this out for our good. Fortunately, Alex had some clout (as did we, as Americans) and the director came down and told us they were working on it. At one point they got it working for the neck down. We didn’t think Tanika needed to be scanned in any of those areas. They kept working on it. Finally, at around 3pm, the nurse walked out and said “you’re next”. As if we had just arrived and were waiting in line for our turn. I must admit that around 2pm, Alex convinced me to eat something small so I didn’t end up a patient. Tanika, trooper that she is, said she didn’t mind. Or maybe I thought that’s what her growling tummy was saying. She went in for the test and I had a great opportunity to share Tanika’s testimony with Alex. He’s from Peru, trained as a paramedic in Germany, working for this German Company in Ghana. He’s just a kid. 23. But really a nice guy. He actually started the conversation by telling me what a nice person Tanika was. He asked me lots of questions and I was basically able to share the Gospel with him. He smiled and nodded alot. Tanika was done about 40 minutes later and we were on our way. We realized that hospital lunch had long been digested, so Alex suggested we stop at the food court in the mall. In Ghana? A food court? It really was. We got chicken sandwiches and ice cream. That evening, our old/new friends picked us up at the hospital and brought us to their house for dinner. That’s when I was able to send my first email update. It was very encouraging to see for myself the prayers of our partners and friends. It’s hard to describe at a time like this what that really means. Back at the hospital, I read to Tanika from Matthew. All about the miracles Jesus did. And we found a consistent theme with many of them. It was because of the faith of the person in need of the miracle that Jesus healed them. “Your” faith has made you whole. I had really been feeling that Tanika needed to begin to take ownership or responsibility for her miracle. Ask God to really give her a revelation. A ‘know that she know’ moment. She was very aware of all the prayer going forth on her behalf, but now she needed to dig in her heels and believe for herself. We had our tea and went to bed. Back in Niger…. Talked to Neal throughout the day. He took Trae to see the Belgian bone doctor. That doctor looked at Trae and told them that he would need surgery. The xray he looked at the previous night was not a good one. He also said that although he could do the surgery, that he would not recommend us having it done in Niger. He didn’t trust the anesthesiologists or any of the other support staff. Infection risk was extremely high – particularly in this heat. So…we again contacted our insurance. They were not going to believe this! By we, I mean we. Both Neal and I were in touch with them – as they were looking into Ghana as well so they were communicating with Dr. Isaac – our Dr. Isaac. Donna, our missionary friend said the same thing about Ghana as the Belgian doc said about Niger. Support staff not likely up to par. And getting to Ghana on a commercial flight was kind of like getting to Kansas from New York via California. It only took us 3 hours on a direct private flight – but they weren’t considering that for Trae. So that’s what was in the works. Figuring out where Trae would be evacuated to. It was looking like Paris – as that is only a 5 hour commercial flight – direct. He was at home, and we talked several times – in between his busy visitor schedule. I still couldn’t believe that my son had been hit by a truck and I’d yet to see him. I continually reminded myself that God is good and victory is ours. More tomorrow.

Where was I?

Today was a gorgeous day in France, but I’ll save that for later. For now, let me get back to my story. I was in Accra, at the hospital, standing outside Tanika’s doctor filled room listening to Neal tell me that my son had been hit by a truck.

I returned to the room and as calmly as I could, explained to Tanika what had happened. She immediately fought tears and asked if Trae was OK before I could get it all out. The doctors – in their infinite wisdom – all assured us that Trae would be fine and that all would be well. As soon as they left, Tanika and I prayed for Trae and the situation as we knew it. And for ourselves. Then we had some tea and toast and went to sleep.

The next morning, Dr. Isaac, the doctor from the airplane came and brought me a SIM card for my phone, along with phone credit. He was a great guy. We immediately called Neal to find out what was happening there. Neal spent the night in the hospital with Trae. The news was that the doctor would be coming to ‘pop’ the bones into place by pushing Trae’s shoulders back. Yikes! Then they would put it in a brace and it would heal. The gouge in his back where the truck hit him was stitched together, and the left side of his body was bruised. There was also a big chunk missing from his heel—he was wearing flip-flops! But they were to be released to go home that day.

Meanwhile, Tanika and I were taken by ambulance to see the ophthalmologist. The vision test revealed that she could see movement and color. The very nice doctor gave her the lovely dilating drops and looked in here eyes every which way. He said he suspected that her optical nerve was inflamed but couldn’t be sure. He wanted her to have an MRI. Sounds good, except that the MRI machine in Ghana was broken. Well, a CT scan would have to do. So that was scheduled for the next day – nothing in Africa moves too quickly.

Back to the hospital we went. Tanika and I sat on the bed, wondering what to do with ourselves. In fact I do believe we were beginning to feel sorry for ourselves. And we felt lonely. We looked at each other and started laughing because we were both crying. I grabbed my Bible – she couldn’t read at this point so was subject to whatever I wanted her to hear. We read some verses, and I read to her from a book we had started at home called “Christ the Healer”. Then we put some good worship music on my Ipod and put on our headphones. We began to feel better, and I remembered that I had the phone number of some missionaries in Accra that we met about 10 years ago, and used to live in Nigeria so are friends with Neal’s parents. We met them that one time – 10 years ago, and haven’t seen them since. I wondered if I should call them. Ten years is a long time. Tanika begged me too. We were bored! I called Donna’s cell number and she answered. I was so glad I did. She sounded genuinely happy to hear from us, and said she was hoping we’d call. She made plans to visit us that evening with 3 of her 6 children. It was great to have a visit from them. And it was a big deal for them to get to the hospital, considering traffic in Accra! So that made our day. Then, to top it off, we got a call from my parents. It was good to talk with them. We were feeling better.

Back on the homefront… I made another call to Neal. (I was the official ‘phone caller’ as we discovered that I could make international calls the cheapest from Ghana). They had had countless visitors, including Trae’s English class from school. (Made Tanika and I just a bit jealous, but we were happy for Trae!) Turns out the doctor there never showed up, even after they went searching for him. The hospital told Neal they’d have to stay another night. So they decided to take matters into their own hands. They heard of a Belgian bone doctor in Niamey so they went and showed him the xray. He said it wasn’t a very good xray, but he didn’t know why they kept Trae in the hospital, that he could go home. He would give him a strap. They checked out of the money seeking hospital against medical advice, (Niger medical advice) and went home.

Tanika and I slept in the Accra hospital, and Neal and Trae were back at home. Tanika and I wanted as many details as possible. We were trying to imagine how Trae was, broken bone, bruised with stitches, trying to sleep. And it was very odd to me that this had happened and I hadn’t even seen Trae yet, but everyone else had.

I realized that it is for times like this that you prepare yourself for battle. You don’t wait until the day of the fight to get ready. That’s all done in advance. But then you still have to choose to use your training. I can’t tell you how often I had to ‘pull down’ vain imaginations and replace them with promises from the word of God. I had 2 kids in hospitals in 2 different countries for goodness sake!

Stay tuned.

Where do I start?

It has been exactly 1 month since my last post. And what a month it’s been! We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve counted it all joy, we’ve been frustrated, we’ve been angry, we’ve been scared, we’ve been lonely, we’ve been in pain, we’ve been happy, we’ve been tired, we’ve been amazed, but most of all we’ve been astounded by the faithfulness of our God. He is good and He never fails.

On April 29th I sent out an urgent prayer request concerning our daughter, Tanika. She was suffering with severe headaches and had significant vision loss. This continued to the point that with the advice of several doctors, we felt it necessary for her to have some tests done to find the cause. We contacted our insurance company and their medical team agreed so they began arrangements to evacuate us. Niger has no ability or doctors to do the exams needing to be done. The choice was made for Tanika and I to travel to Accra, Ghana. On Monday, May 5th, a plane flew from Accra to Niamey to pick us up. At this point Tanika had been having headaches for 2 weeks with no relief. She could basically see only movement and color. She had missed a week of school. The plane was accompanied by a flight crew of 4, a doctor and a paramedic. All for Tanika and I. It was quite a trip. She was hooked up to an IV and several other things to monitor her while in flight. It wasn’t first class, but she was lying down. We landed after a less than 3 hour flight and were taken by ambulance directly to the hospital where she was admitted and I was able to stay right with her in the room. Dr. Isaac kindly let me borrow his phone to call Neal and let him know we had arrived and were settled. At first I thought Neal’s excited voice was out of excitement to hear mine. Once he ascertained that we were in place he said these words to me. “Don’t freak out. He’s ok. Trae’s had an accident and he’s in the hospital. He broke his collarbone and is banged up.” At this point I’m just thinking that I’ve just seen him about 4 hours ago. And WHAT hospital? What hospital in Niger would I want my son in? And what happened? And I really am I’m working on not doing that freaking out thing. And wait a minute. I’m the one with the child that was medically evacuated. I can prove it. I’m standing right outside of her hospital room where all the doctors are around her. How could he have had an accident? This is not making sense. But what I said was “What happened”. You will just have to figure out for yourself how that actually sounded. The next thing Neal said was ‘He was hit by a truck’. At this point I began to realize two things. The enemy was seriously trying to discourage us by attacking our kids, and that God’s hand was definitely on them, and us. This became even more clear as I learned the details of the accident. He was on his motorbike getting ready to make a left turn. There was a taxi behind him that saw him and stopped. There was a truck (Neal described it to me as a Uhaul sized truck) behind the taxi that did not see Trae. He began to illegally pass the taxi as Trae was starting to make the turn. The truck hit Trae in the shoulder, ejecting him from the bike. Trae, realizing he was laying in a busy road, actually got up, took off his helmet and crossed to the other side and then realized that things were not right. He laid back down on the ground. Several people saw the accident and thankfully were there to testify to the police exactly what happened. The accident was officially ruled the fault of the truck driver. Trae doesn’t know anyone’s phone numbers in his head as they were all stored on his cell phone. He doesn’t have his cell phone anymore because it was stolen. But he remembered that he had the number of a friend from school written on his hand. Someone he plays soccer with saw him and stopped – and called his friend’s number. He was actually right by her house when he was hit – he was going there to return her ipod. Anyway, he called her and told her to call his Dad and tell him he had been hit by a truck. That’s what Esther did. She called Neal and basically said, “Trae needs you, he’s been hit by a truck”. Ya think? Then she told Neal where Trae was. Tobi was already in bed so Neal called his Mom and said something like “You need to come and stay with Tobi, Trae has been hit by a truck and I have to go and help him.” Grama and Grampa rush to our house and arrive just after Neal has left. Grampa met him at the ‘site’, as well as Pastor Moctar who helped take care of police stuff. Neal took Trae to the hospital where an xray confirmed a broken clavicle.

This all took place about 1 hour after Neal, Trae, and Tobi saw Tanika & I off at the airport.

To be continued…

Grades, The Brady Bunch & Tobi

I still have so much to write about our Benin trip, (believe it or not) but I have to deviate for now so I can record some stuff currently going on at home.  I don’t want to forget some of these things. 

I believe that God really desires to bless me.  I have the audacity to think that this hot season may not be so hot yet, because the Lord knew how much I was dreading it – let me just say it.  I was afraid of our first hot season here in Niamey.  We are now well into April – smack in the middle of hot season.  And though it’s hot, it’s not HOT.  This morning was actually cool.  Maybe in the low 70′s.  Thats very unusual for right now.  I take it as a blessing from God, straight to me.

The kids got their report cards last Friday.  They are all doing so well and we are proud of them.  Since they are doing so well, I don’t think they’d mind if I publish their grades.  Please allow me to brag once again.  Trae, a Jr.  had straight A’s – Bible, British Lit, Digital Video, French, Econ, PE, Physics, Precalc w/ Trig.  Comments:  shown creative side, good attitude, delight, exceptionally well, very capable, keeps teacher on his toes.  Tanika, a Freshmen also did exceptionally well with 4 A’s & 4 B’s, bringing her GPA up from 3.2 to 3.7 this quarter.  Comments:  works hard, proficiency increasing, improving, delight in class, gift for writing, takes initiative.  Gotta love those adjectives!  They deserve it.  They both study hard and are motivated to do well.  Tobi loves school, but the academics don’t come easy for him.  His report card is basically a list of objectives with checks that show whether he meets, exceeds, or doesn’t meet said objectives.  He ‘meets’ everything.  He exceeded in 2 things – Music and PE.  Hmmm….Needed assistance in using punctuation and telling time.  His favorite ‘outside subject is PE’, and his favorite ‘inside’ subject is handwriting.  Handwriting?  His teacher says he motivates the class to write because he likes it so much.  He got an ‘E’ – excellent for effort in almost every subject listed.  And very important to me are all the other things that are considered in elementary school-listening, quality of work, takes responsibility, organizes, participates, shares, self-control. respect, establish/maintain friendships, etc.  He received an ‘E’ on every one.  Comments:  good worker, enjoys writing, always does his best, works hard, kind spirit.  These character issues are of great importance to us – things we work on at home.  It’s a blessing to us to see the fruit in his their behavior at school.  I made ice-cream to celebrate.

Last year while in the US (by the way we left here for the US one year ago today), we bought the Brady Bunch.  The whole series.  Didn’t know until then that there had been only 5 seasons.  We thought it would be fun for the kids to get a dose of 70′s culture – American style.  We have been watching several episodes each week.  Trae and Tanika enjoy it because of it’s corny humor.  Funny, I don’t remember anything corny when it was aired prime time!   We have had so much fun watching it with Tobi.  He cracks us up.  Though not at all a TV/movie guy, he is a Brady Bunch junkie.  He’ll correct the kids out loud when they do something they’re not supposed to be doing.  He’ll try to tell Greg – through the TV mind you – that Bobby is spying on him.  He is so animated when he’s watching.  Enthralled is he word that comes to mind.  From the first scene he can tell you what that particular episode is about.  I’ve been trying to explain to him that they are a TV family but don’t really live together.  I don’t think he wants to deal with that reality.  Other than drumming, I don’t think I’ve seen him so invested in something.  It’s almost an obsession.  Almost scary.

Today we watched the final episode of the final season.  I almost thought he was going to go into mourning.  So I decided to check on the internet for something that would show the Brady’s ’then & now’.  The conversation that followed went like this:

Tobi:  I wish they would do 10 seasons.  Are they still alive?

Mom:  I think so.  Except Mr. Brady died about 15 years ago. 

T:  How did he die?

M:  He had a disease.

T:  Is he in heaven?

M:  I don’t know. (I didn’t tell him that the disease he had may have been an indication that he was in fact, not in heaven.) 

T:  So will I see him there?

M:  I hope so.  If he knew Jesus.

T:  What about the rest of the family?  Are they Christians? 

M: I don’t know.  (I’m not being very helpful)

T:  Where do they live?

M:  I don’t know, but they don’t live together.  Some of them probably live in California.

T:  I want to see them on this earth.  Do you think when we go to California we can see them? 

M:  We don’t know where they live.

T:  Maybe we can ask someone that knows and they can take us to their house.

M:  Speechless, and then – I don’t know, but you do understand that they don’t live together?

T:  Well, I want to see them, but I hope I can see them in heaven.

M:  I hope so too.

T:  Did you ever see them pray on TV?  Did they go to church?

M:  I saw them pray 1 time.

T:  Does that mean they’re not Christians?

M:  I don’t know.

T:  Begins to walk away sad.

M:  Tobi, did you know that you can pray for them now?  So if they don’t know Jesus, you can pray that God will send someone to tell them. 

T: I can?

M:  Yep!  (Not sure why that was a surprise to him.)

Then ensued a discussion of praying for those we don’t know and people who don’t know Jesus and what we’re doing in Niger. 

Later on I came across the few shells I collected on the beach in Benin when Tobi and I took a walk together.  We talked about how one of them looked like a sunrise.  I showed it to Tobi and asked if he knew why I collected the shells.  He said ’cause you like the sunrise?’  “Yes”, I told him, “but I also collect them because when I look at them it helps me remember our time there.”  Long pause and then, “Sometimes I don’t like to remember.”   “Why?”  I asked incredulously.  Fighting tears he said, “Because it makes me sad and I want to go back.”  “But would you rather not have the memories?”  Smile returns as he says, “No, I want the memories.”

Whew!  What an emotional day for the kid!  After that we talked to Grama and Grampa in Minnesota where they have recently been dumped on with 20″ of wet snow.  It’s April for goodness sake!  They sent pictures and I must to say they make me grateful for my 100 + degree temps!  Tobi on the other hand said he wants to go to America when there is snow and asked what would happen if we walked in the snow barefoot (he wears shoes to school only because they force him).  I told him that we wouldn’t walk barefoot in the snow.  That there are various footwear requirements for snow-walking.  Then he said, “I want to build a ‘snow clown’.   Is that what they’re called?  What are they called?”  At least he knew ‘snow clown’ didn’t sound just right.  Poor kid. He doesn’t know what to call a snowman but they guy speaks 2 languages, is learning a 3rd, and could probably tell you how to get out of a sand drift.  The life of a 3rd culture kid!