Sunday we went to church. We always go to church on Sunday. Do you ever go to church expecting to sweat? We do. And I’m not talking about a little dampness that you dab with a dainty handkerchief. I’m talking about the kind of sweat that happens when someone is doing an anaerobic activity in triple digit temps. But here, all you have to do to obtain that kind of sweatibility is sit. Yep. Just sit. So imagine what happens when 50 people are all dancing/worshipping and the church is 115 degrees inside (at least). There are literally puddles of sweat around people’s feet (your’s truly included). We sweat right through our Sunday best. What amazes me is the joy with which people worship. In this heat! With no plans of going home to cool off in their air-conditioned homes. I think most would agree with me that in my home country, if the temperature in church rises above the level of handkerchief perspiration, some pretty serious grumbling will ensue. Not trying to step on toes, just stating the facts ma’am, just stating the facts. I’ve been there. But I must say that since my blood has thinned, if I am in a church in the land of the free I need a parka. And gloves. Or at least a blanket. Even if it’s the middle of summer. I’m not kidding either. I may not carry a blanket to church, but the fact remains that I need something to keep my body temperature above 95. What would probably help is a good dose of African praise – the way our church does it. It may not produce a pool of sweat around my feet, but it would prevent icicles from forming in my nose – not to mention the stares and chuckles my dancing would attract!
Since we try to hold off turning our AC on in the daytime as long as possible (especially right after we get our electric bill), I have developed a method I use to fool myself. And I did not say ‘to make a fool of myself’, though that is probably debatable. I put my workout clothes on if I don’t have to go anywhere. With my workout clothes on, my brain knows that I am supposed to be sweating. So sweating isn’t so uncomfortable. Then I do some office work outfitted in this attire. I sweat, but It’s expected so it doesn’t really bother me. At least that’s what I tell myself. I just have to be careful that the sweat doesn’t roll off my nose and into my laptop keyboard. And I may end up with a small puddle around my feet, but that’s ok, because that can easily be wiped up – the floor is tile. No worries.
The thing I do have to be careful about is when I actually do the workout. I do it directly under my fan. I’m telling you, it’s not a pretty sight. I have my sweat cloth (beach towel) nearby, with a 1.5 liter bottle of water. I know my workout is finished when the towel is soaked and the water is almost gone (I’m kidding about the beach towel – I only use a thick, thirsty hand towel). It’s the cool down/stretch that gets me into trouble. I sweat so much that when I bend down, sweat pours into my nose and I start spurting like someone just sprayed me up my nose with a rubber hose. Life is rough.
Then there’s the shower after the workout. If I have time, I like to wait at least 30 minutes before showering, or I kind of defeat the purpose. I just keep on sweating when I’m done – never really drying off. That’s partly due to the fact that during this season, the only shower one can take is a hot one. Even though I know this, I find myself always reaching for the cold knob – to turn it up. But ‘cold’ is all that is on.
This too, shall pass. We’ll be back to our normal 95 degree days.